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Darkened_Desir3
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Name: Megan
Country: United States
State: Florida
Metro: Tampa Bay Area
Birthday: 5/20/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: Running,friends, computer, phone, snowboarding, shopping, hanging out, tv, video games, fourwheeling, having fun, skiing, playing with my puppy, learning about people's lives.. well that's about it..... hanging out with my best friends
Expertise: Well... um.. running track and cross country, skiing, argueing, I want to become an expertise at snowboarding someday, reading people, computer, phone, tv.. that's it..
Occupation: Medical
Industry: Medical
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  T0talAngelBab3
AIM:  B1g Ir0n Slu7 01
AIM:  SexyLisa6511
AIM:  DarkenedDesir3
MSN: www.AngelBabe1618@msn.com
Member Since:
1/1/2005
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| Well it's few good months since i last wrote in this.. only like..4 months, not bad. Um.... I could be doing better.. My mom has completely failed me finally. So I decided she is Susan now, I hate talking to her and she makes me sick to my stomach to look at her, I don't talk to her. But I will get through this, I mean i absolutely have to. It will end up happening one way or another so I mise well start getting over it now. Hm.. new changes.. Well I moved back in to my Uncle Ricks, on the 2nd of January I will have lived their for a month, not that long to most people but, for me it's a lifetime, kinda bad when your dad doesn't care that your leaving and your mom rubs it in your face that your moving out because of her. Well if it wasn't for the people around me helping me through it then, I don't know where I would be right now or how I would be doing. I guess I'll have to thank, Rick, Jay, Halie, Cory, and most of all Andrew. You know he's gotta love you when you try to break up with him because of your pain and he won't let you cuz he knows thats now what you truly want. I would never want to break up with him, I just want him to be happy. Um... drinking a lil now and then, keeps my nerves down a little every once in a while. Christmas was just here, being at my Uncle Ricks it was kinda depressing for me, and my bro Adam, him calling me about to cry over Christmas, and 18 year old. That's depressing. But all we can do it learn to accept what is happening and move on. It's just kind of hard the state we're in. I'm staying as strong as possible, it's harder than ever before, but I gotta get through it, I need a little more help though, thinking so much is literally driving me crazy, it makes me shake. But goodness I sound so emo, life is good otherwise, I hate school but I love seeing my friends, I guess when I really think about it the only thing that really excites me or makes me happy anymore is Andrew, and my lil cuz's that are like my sisters, when they aren't be bratz they make me feel like a kid again, that calms my nerves. Swimming is rather stressful, but I know that I love the sport enough to keep going at it. It's just kind of complicated right now. Um... a few days till New Years! 2007.. I think my new years resolution is not to cry so much and to be happy again, to be myself again. I think I'm getting that back though, wehich makes me happier than ever, just gonna take sometime. But when you really think about it, everything takes time.. but sometimes people don't have time to do it, or don't think that it can be done in time by death, and that's why they go insane and do something that they should even think about doing. Thats not too healthy if you ask me, but... none of my business.. until it relates and makes me think of myself, that's when it becomes a problem, maybe i think that i'll never get through this, that it will never end, and i'm thinking of giving up... would doubt that, but I need to stay strong and be optimistic about this. I need to be happy again, that's all I really want... being happy is the key to living otherwise your a dead sole trapt in a breathing body.. which was me a few weeks ago, I'm getting better but i'm starting to get scared that i'm gonna go back to that again. Which def. wouldn't be good. Well I feel like i have something else to say, but i guess i'm just babbling on about the same thing just in different context. Well it's good to get everything out, for a little while anyway, writing/typing about it gets it all out in front of me and makes me shake now but will let me forget a bit later. Time is everything, patience is required to live in this world, not everything is fast or can be made fast for everyone and everything, so we all have to learn to live with the speed of the world around us, or we will get ahead of ourselves and get caught in a traffic jam not knowing wether to stay on the highway headed to that destination or hit an exit and find something else to go after. I guess that's something for me to think about when I got to bed. Well I better go to bed cuz i have to get up early tomorrow and i'm leaving for snowshoe with Andrew, Adam, Antonio, Vance, Dad, and Susan, Huck and Jenn will be there on Friday, I think she will get in the way, but.. i will try not to let her, it will be fun somehow. Goodnight
Megan
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| Wow.. it's been a while since I've wrote in here and tons of crap has changed!! lrl.. um.. well.. tons.. that I can't say outloud.. ahah.. lets just say i'm doing better now and that I'm not going pyscho crazy anymore.. haa.. or.. atleast not yet.. it's great that no one else writes in here anymore .. or reads them either that way I can look at this anytime I want.. write in it.. and say anything I won't.. and no one can stop me.. muhuhahhaaahha.. lrl.. anyway. i guess that was a lil out of hand.. but.. it's pretty funny that i'm going to sit here and type talk and think to myself.. ohwell.. it's just for the hell of it anyway. well. ham.. it's 4:55a.m... haven't been on here since like june 17.. lrl and it's aug 11th.. 6 months for Andrew and I today and we are still rolling! sweetness! gosh. i'm starting to get tired I guess cuz I was just mentally tired.. so I guess my brain is getting tired which means that i'm starting to get sleepy which means I will fall asleep!! awesome! .. haha.. i'm hanging with andrew today.. yay! i love him.. he brings out the true happiness in me.. he told me today that if I got stuck by lightning while laying on my room and was paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of my life that he would still date me.. so.. hey.. can't complain.. haha.. jk.. i love him and I'm crazy about him and from what i hear.. he loves me too.. wow! crazy i know! hahaha.. i'm really rather just jabbering on.. haa.. llalalalallalallallualualualaualuelauelaeualeulaeulelellllllla. that made me feel a lot better.. um.... well brian just got back in town so i am spending some time with him and we are having a jolly good time.. i'm really enjoying myself!!well.. hm... yeah.. my brain is getting pretty tired and I really would like to go to the restroom so I guess I will go.. right in another month or to.. anyone who reads this.. i guess have fun with it! byes love, megan aka mrs grumpy gills (iloveandrew)!
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| Dear God,
you know how i have ben doing lately. and.. you know i can't complain.. ahah.. you know the way that Andrew has been treating me is great... and.. that i don't even care if my mom is alive anymore.. but.. just let me know.. if i should treat her as my mother.. or.. just sum stranger.. i don't want to make the wrong choice.. so.. give me sum input here. thank you for blessing my life in so many ways lately god.. i love you.. very much.. and.. also. i love you andrew thank you both much.. byes Megan
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| Dear God,
you know what I have done, and you know what I think about it. So
please, don't punish me more than I can handle.. because honeslty.. I
don't have the heart to hold all of this... everythings gonna burst...
please let Andrew love me for my mystiakes.. and forgive my mom for she
needs to be punished otherwise she will never leard... I love Andrew
and you tons... and the only thing I can possibly get right now is a
break.. please release some of this stress that is over powering my
life.... it's never been this bad.. I have a headache just sitting
here... so please help me... I need you hear God, right now..
Amen
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| Dear God,
as you know things at home aren't great.. having
troubles with teachers, and stress aswell.... thanks to the few daily
things that make me feel good though, andrew, shiann, and aerika.. give
them an extra special treat lrl. Thank you for letting me do
pretty decent at the meet today.. I needed ya there.. and I need you
now.. I need you lately.. as you know I'm sure.. well.. I just leave
you with a request for help goodnight,
Amen
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